You work out of a Hotel?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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