Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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