she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
