I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
