Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Michael Bay diarrhea
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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