Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
