Sponge bath it is.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
