She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
