She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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