Non-Jews are for practice
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
