he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize