Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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