i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
