I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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