You just made me feel so damn special
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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