He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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