i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
