Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
