idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
