my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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