those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
