thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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