i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
