also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
