There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
