She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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