hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize