He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
