I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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