Kiss
Puke
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
