I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
