I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Send help, water and tortillas.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
