is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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