guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
