Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
