how can u be prego again
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
