If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize