i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
