I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
