At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
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she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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