ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
