Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
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I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
BRING THE BAGELS
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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