hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
