According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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