i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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