Dual....:-)
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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