Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
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She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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