found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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