Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
