Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
