no, he came in my armpit
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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