Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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