He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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