They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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