Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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