I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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