i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
