so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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