who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
