sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
