I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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