hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My balls are so social today.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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