Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you didnt know i had herpes?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And then my night got REAL pukey
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
