GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
