"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you win again, gameday.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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