Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
