You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
