Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
