Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
