Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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