I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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