ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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